This Is Why You’re Pissed (and How You Can Change It)

Time for some action

{First of all, do me a favor. Head over you YouTube (or Spotify) and listen to this (If you’re at work, put on  headphones. There will be cussing), because I need you to get a little amped up for this one.}

Recently, I went to the L.A. Zoo with Le Kid (my 7-year-old ninja son). As a parent you find yourself at lots of zoos, and most times, the animals are either hiding, asleep, or laying out in the sun doing nothing spectacularly animal-like.

But this time was different; all the animals were active. The zebras were galloping around, the elephants were tooting their trunks and playing with giant balls (seriously), and according to Le Kid, the chimpanzees were “having a conference” in the middle of their enclosure.

It was a pretty great zoo day.

Until we got to the jaguar.

You’d think jaguars–the largest wildcat in the West that’s able to climb trees, swim, and chase down its prey–would be housed in a huge enclosure that is respectful its God-given abilities.

But this poor guy was housed in a barred, semi-straight cage that was only about 75 feet long and maybe 15 feet wide. Sure, they’d thrown in some trees and a few faux rocks for dude to paw at, but he clearly wasn’t living as large as the gorillas with their waterfall, or the elephants who had giant balls and lots of room to roam.

Despite his digs, like the other animals, the jaguar was extremely active. But unlike the other animals he didn’t look happy to be laying out in the afternoon sun waiting for dinnertime—he looked like a MADMAN.

I mean, utterly insane.

The jaguar aggressively walked back and forth as quickly and as angrily as his cage would allow, and in my head, I pictured him saying, “This is some bullsh*t. This is some BULLSH*t. THIS. IS. SOME. BULLSH*T!

He was clearly fed up, angry (crazy?), and ready to go all jaguar on somebody, but what could he do? How could he get free?

I’m sure many of you have felt like that jaguar. Ready to snap because you feel like your job, your relationship, or your LIFE is “bullsh*t.”

You feel claustrophobic, trapped, constantly on edge. And you’re ready to pounce on somebody because things are that bad.

Sometimes you go jaguar on your kids (uh, guilty). And other times, you go all jaguar on your significant other, your coworkers, or maybe even yourself (yeah…me too).

But going off doesn’t make a difference. You still stalk back and forth, angry and bewildered and sad, because you know you want to change your life, but you just don’t know how.

I’ve been there. I know how hopeless and painful and pissed off it feels.

If you understand what I’m saying, I have a few things to share that may just change your life (no bullsh*t).

Thing # 1: You’re not alone.

There are plenty of other jaguars out there at this very moment.

That rude guy at the grocery store who cut in line yet proceeds to complain the entire time about the checker taking too long? He’s a jaguar.

The mom who went all the way off on her kid because he won’t sit still or “act right,” never mind he’s 3 and blessed (or cursed) with a perpetual case of the wiggles? Yup, she went jaguar.

That guy at your job who hates everything from his commute, to cubical, his managerial duties, to the coffee the company serves? He’s ready pounce.

The postal worker who barely looks up at you when they yell, “NEXT,” but stares like he’s ready to lay the smackdown when you ask what’s the difference between first class and priority mail? He’s a postal worker. Ruuuuuun!

While we may think these folks just have horrible home training, a lack of manners, and a bad attitude, I’m willing to bet many of them are in the same exact place you may be–longing for change, but unsure of how to get it.

Thing # 2: You CAN break free

While we’re cooped up in our jobs or unfulfilling lives, stalking back and forth like that poor jaguar, it’s hard to believe you can actually change things if you really wanted to…but you can.

Unlike the jaguar at the zoo, the only limitations on your life are the ones you placed there.

I don’t care if you have kids, a ton of student loan debt, a jalopy, a mountain of credit card debt, and no foreseeable way to turn it around–the only limitations on your life right now are the ones you put there (click to tweet this out).

If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it.

So ask yourself this: Am I ready to do absolutely anything to change my life?

If you’re answer isn’t, “Hell yeah, Britni!” then that’s probably why you’re walking around like a caged up jaguar (or Kanye West).

Because while you may hate your job, and say you want to change your life, you really don’t.

And if you continue feeling this way without actually changing, I can guarantee a few outcomes:

1)   You will be miserable.

2)   You will make those around you miserable

3)   You will die.


But if your answer was, “Hell yeah, girl!” here’s how you can begin to change your life RIGHT NOW.

(First, hit replay on that Redman joint)

1)   Read my book, Break Out of Your Box. Ok, a little shameless self-promotion, but this book is literally 30 pages of awesome. It’s packed with sisterly advice on how to start living the life you desire, and if you haven’t read it yet, it’s time to join the party and get inspired!

2)   Change your “stinkin’ thinkin.’” The only thing standing between you and a ridiculously happy and successful life is the way you see yourself. Don’t believe me? Peep this video by Will Smith, and if you aren’t as focused, determined, and driven as him—you need to get your mind right. Making progress in your life will not be easy. It is not a passive thing that just “happens” one day. You can do it, but it starts with your mindset.

3)   Take the first step. When thinking about changing you life taking the first step is always the most difficult, but it’s also the most important. Whether you want to go back to school, switch careers, quit your job,  fall in love, or start your own business, the first step is always deciding what you want and taking ONE, big, drastic (and yes, scary) action to make it happen. What do I mean? Sign up for a dating site, start a blog, invest in a business class, open a “I’m quitting my job and here’s my eff-off money account.” Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING. You’ll not only start making progress toward your goals, but you’ll also be inspired to continue to make changes in your life.


Answer me this: Have you been feeling like an angry jaguar lately? What’s ONE thing you can do to begin to change your life? Leave your answer in the comments section below. Who knows, maybe I can help.

p.s.: If you enjoyed this post can you share it (pretty please?). Tweet it, share it on Facebook, or plus it up on Google+. Use the buttons below. ‘Preciate it! 

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  • Shawn Richards

    Great article Ms Ma’am. I’m digging the message. And I’m SOOOO loving the way you opened by referencing one of the most CRUNKED UP (no typo, I really meant to say CRUNKED UP…lol) hip-hop tunes ever produced! waffles!

    • BritniDanielle

      LOL thanks Shawn. I figured Redman was apropos!

  • Bee Quammie

    Loved this post! Somehow, I had never seen that Will Smith clip before, so thank you for including it. One of the key things I’ve done in working to turn life around and stop being a jaguar myself, is to stop looking at things like “life is happening TO me” and think of it as “life is happening FOR me” – it’s too easy to dwell in the negative and lock yourself in that imaginary jaguar cage when you feel like you’re unable to be a participant in your own life. When you start looking at things like life is supporting you and giving you opportunities to make change, the transitions become a bit easier and you begin to loosen that knot you have that ties you to all the things you believe are holding you back. Opportunity for change is out there – you just have to grab it, even if it means starting small.

    • BritniDanielle

      I LOVE this: “Life is happening FOR me.”

      I think we ALL need to remember that!

  • Vee Beard

    One word: EPIC. And you kept every word you made in the email. Great job, Brit!

    • BritniDanielle

      Hey Vee, I’m glad I delivered! *whew* lol

      Thanks for reading, and please share if you enjoy anything you read around here!

  • Kimmie

    You’ve put a name to my attitude as of late – the jaguar lol I’m struggling to make my career transition a smooth one and its tougher than I anticipated. Once I get a grip and move onto número 3 on your list, hopefully things will change.

    Thanks for the encouragement and I’m glad I subscribed!

    • BritniDanielle

      Hey Kimmie,

      I’m glad you subscribed as well!

      Making that transition can be VEEEERY tough (and nit might not ever be smooth), so remember not to be hard on yourself. But if you keep pluggin away, you will totally get there!

  • BritniDanielle

    Hey Najeema,

    Wow, a 1 year-old AND a 3-year-old? I can see why you’re going THROUGH it! lol. But I think you’re making the right move in taking some “mommy moments” because that’s really the best way to keep your sanity.

    Remember, being a parent is akin to doing God’s work…so keep pushing. You got this!

    And I’m glad you subscribed as well! I will check out your blog.

  • Rashida Alake B

    Yeah.. right there before that click to tweet *throat chops limitations* BOOM! lol Great post Britni! Loving what you’re doing mama. Keep up the good work!