On the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak’s dream turned into her biggest nightmare.
While Zolciak claimed she was in the process of buying her home, the whole thing became a complete mess when the mansion’s owner claimed Zolciak couldn’t keep up the payments on the house and had to go.
Despite getting married to her husband (an NFL player) in the home, telling the world it was her “dream home,” and spending tens of thousands of dollars decorating it, Kim was faced with the dauting reality that her dream home had become her own personal Money Pit.
Seemingly overnight Kim began calling the house “the haunted mansion,” and she claimed that nothing good happened since she moved into the home (I guess her wedding wasn’t good?).
In the last episode, a very pregnant Kim furiously dropped the f-bomb while she readied her belongings to move back to her “tiny” 5,000 square foot townhouse (I wish, I had those problems). Between the movers, her assistant, and her kids, no one could to assuage Kim’s frustrations as she surveyed her shattered dream.
Although extreme, Kim’s perdiciment—watching her dream crumble before her eyes—isn’t unique. Many times people have struggled to attain their goals, only to have it blow up in their face.
Some are left broken, distraught that their dream did not turn out how they envisioned it. Others get discouraged, unable to move onto something greater because they are so afraid to be disappointed again.
But what should you do if your dream turns out to be a nightmare?
Reflect on what really happened
When Kim calms down she should take a step back and figure out what exactly went wrong. Despite not owning the home, she spent tens of thousands of dollars to make it it her “dream” home. This was a big mistake. While it’s easy to get caught up in the allure of a dream, be sure it’s actually YOURS before you become invested in it.
Achieving your goal only to have it blow up in your face can feel like a cruel joke. For Kim, I’m sure returning to her townhouse after living in a beautiful mansion seems like a failure. I mean, no one wants to start over again. But sometimes, square one is exactly where we need to be.
I can relate. I dreamed about living in NYC for years, and when I finally got there, I felt I had made it. Unfortunately, my tenure in the city was short-lived and I had to return home. Why? I was pregnant and I need my family’s support. While I felt like I failed, moving back to L.A. was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Had I stayed in New York I would have had to work even harder to pay the rent, get a babysitter, and raise my son without my village. Could I have done it? Sure, but I’d probably still be working a 9-5 instead of doing what I love.
Having your dreams crash around you can make you hesitant to try it again, but do it anyway. No good will come of living in fear. Your life will be riddled by regret, and if you’re honest with yourself, you won’t be happy. If your previous goals didn’t turn out how you liked, think of new ones. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail, don’t swear off dreaming when your plans get shot to hell, and don’t give up. Ever.
And if you don’t believe me, perhaps Elizabeth Gilbert, Ms. Eat Pray Love herself, can convince you that even if your dream impodes, you’ll still be ok.
Let’s just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen. Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I’ve done it; it’s survivable.) While you’re at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet. Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted—by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you—trust me—for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Ok. Now it’s your turn to chime in.
Leave me a comment and let me know how you cope when your dreams don’t turn out how you envisioned them. Did you bounce back? Did you curl up into the fetal posiiton and cry? Did you learn from it and move on?
Let me know!
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