Let me preface this by saying that I’m referring to sex workers who CHOOSE that line of work. I’m not talking about underage girls, people forced into the sex trade, or any other nefarious thing. Cool? Cool.
I admire sex workers for the same reason I admire Diddy and Jay-Z and Oprah and Richard Branson:
They know how to sell themselves
Successful entrepreneurs aren’t hemming and hawing about sales or marketing. They aren’t wringing their hands or feeling awkward about talking up their new album, book, product, or business. They aren’t sending tweets about channelling their inner Yeezy (uh, like I did), because they wish they could tout their greatness without feeling like a complete asshole. They are making connections, marketing their products/services, and building their respective empires.
I wonder why I struggle to sell myself (and my various services) sometimes. I need to channel my inner Yeezy.
— britni danielle (@BritniDWrites) October 11, 2013
While the world’s most successful people have no problem going out there and selling their accomplishments (and services), the rest of us struggle. Why?
Releasing my novella Turn It Loose and relaunching The Write Pitch has been a STARK reminder about just how uncomfortable I am selling myself. While I’ve been Facebooking & Tweeting for my life, each time I feel a little…weird…about it. While I want people to read the book and sign up for the course, part of me wants them to do so without me having to ask. Of course, this is completely crazy talk (and a horrible marketing plan), but I’d wager that’s how a lot of people feel.
Perhaps it’s the religious notion that meekness is best, or perhaps talking about ourselves just make us uncomfortable. Whatever the case may be, our inability to sell ourselves to others is holding us back.
Research has shown that women tend leave money on the table by failing to negotiate their salaries like their male counterparts, which can set us on a career-long path lower incomes. And I can totally relate. When I was in Corporate America I simply took the offered salary and never even thought to negotiate for fear that my job would be given to another candidate.
But settling for whatever’s offered–be it a starting salary; a mate who is just ok, but not great; or slow sales of your own products/services–leaves you frustrated, annoyed, and with a lot less money.
So how can you change it around?
Here’s what Susannah Breslin of Forbes has to say about it:
TIP #1: It’s not you, it’s “you.”
One of the biggest challenges for those who are selling-themselves challenged is an inability to separate who they truly are from who they are as a product. There’s you — imperfect, conflicted, fallible — and then there’s the “you” you’re selling — awesome, cool, superhuman.
Don’t sell yourself well? Think of “you” as a superhero version of yourself. Make a list of your best qualities. Dress the way SuperYou would dress. Talk the way SuperYou would talk. Be SuperYou. Role play. It’s a part. Experiment. This is play.
TIP #2: Annoy others.
It’s not enough to just be. There’s too much competition. You need to network, communicate, and engage with people as the “you” you want to be, and you won’t get there by hiding.
TIP #3: Be a unicorn.
People try to sell themselves, their products, and their services to me all the time. Mostly, they do this through emails. I would say 99% of them do it wrong.
They’re boring.
What is original? What is unique? What does it mean to be a unicorn? Find something nobody else is doing. Create something that did not exist previously. Be that new chimera the rest of us are too afraid to dream is real.
Selling yourself is tough, hell, it can be down right scary. But if you want to accomplish your goals, build your biz, or catch Mr./Mrs. RIght’s eye, you have to get comfortable putting your very best foot forward (and totting your own horn).
Do you st